


Everything and Nothing

by orphan_account



Category: Adventure Time
Genre: F/F, Genderbending, Genderswap, hopin to makes it at least a lil gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-23 00:26:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13775802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: yo! this was made as a sort of tribute to the gender-bending stories that i used to love as a kid (absolute egg) that pandered to how much i wanted to present as female. i know gender bending stuff is a touchy subject so just know i mean no disrespect through this!! thanks loves <3_________________________ice king accidentally changes finns gender bc he’s a gosh dang dummy





	Everything and Nothing

“bow chicka bow chicka bow boom BAP” Finn scatted absentmindedly from the floor of the treehouse. He spread his arms out wide on the cool wood flooring. “BAPPA BAM BLAOW! bitty botti bichikoww” He tapped his robotic arm’s fingers on the wood for a beat. “beema POW POM BOW bitti bunnni BOM!!” 

“Hey dude.” Jake leaned into the room, sizzling eggs practically jumping out of the skillet in his hand. “That’s a bored song if i’ve ever heard one. You bored?”

“I’m BONZO BORED, man.” Finn hopped to his feet and slapped his face dramatically. “No monsters, no evil, no NOTHING! The words morosely spilled out of his mouth as he slunk into the kitchen. “What’s a hero to do in these conditions?” 

“Idunno, man. I’m just chillin’. Taking this time to learn new things. I didn’t know how to cook eggs, and now i’m sizzling them up like a master.” Finn chose to ignore the splattered eggshells from past attempts coating the ground. “Hit me up with one of those bad boys!” Jake flipped the eggs onto a couple of plates and flopped down at the table with Finn, initiating his patented real talk face. 

“Alright dude, what are we gonna do to slay your boredom?” Jake kept his eyes on Finn as he shoveled eggs into his mouth, missing a few times but refusing to relinquish his dramatic eye contact. “Idunno, man. I would say we could play with BMO, but I don’t really feel like playing video games today. I wanna get out there, man! Swing a sword, kill a thing! You feel?” Finn replied, slopping egg into his mouth with his bare hands.

“DID I HEAR BMO??” BMO giggled happily, running into the room before stumbling flat on their face with a little “oof”.

“Nah BMO, Finn’s got a case of the slumps. We need something dangerous to do to shake him out of it.” Jake muttered, scooping BMO off of the ground and onto the table. 

“Hmm… AHA!” BMO began doing a happy dance, shaking their arms around while hopping up and down. “I have an idea!! Go ask Bonnibel! She’s always whacky busy!” “BMO who told you you could call Princess Bubblegum Bonnibel? It’s like hearin’ your mom’s friend call her by her first name. Bad jujus.” “YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA PEEBS CHORES!!!!!!!” Finn burst upwards with a triumphant shriek. “SOMETHING TO DO! YAAAAGH-” With a loud crash of glass, Finn dove through the window and towards the candy kingdom.

“Hmm. I s’pose I could use someone checking out the Ice King. Word is he’s got some new magic junk. Big time junk. Reality altering stuff.” Princess Bubblegum mixed chemicals in her lab, beginning a new experiment. “I’m kinda busy today, so I’m really glad for your help, guys.” She turned briefly, smiling amiably before refocusing on her experiment. “This experiment will hopefully produce a cure to bad breath, but it requires diligence. I’m gonna be here all day.”

“No prob, Pebs! We’re on it like Jake on an unhealthy amount of bacon.” Finn saluted, marching back out of the door. “Dude, not cool. Funny and very true, but still not cool.” Jake shouted after him, bounding towards him on all fours. Bubblegum rolled her eyes. “What geeks.” She giggled, adding some shaved tastebuds into her serum. Finn was cute in a kind of ignorant little boy way. He always focused on his whole hero biz. He wasn’t the smartest, but he wasn’t stupid- Just.. simple. She laughed at that, shaking her head and throwing a vial of pure mint into the concoction. 

Finn arrived in the Ice Kingdom about twenty minutes later, skidding in on Jake in sled form. “Hey man, what’s our plan here?” Jake shouted up at Finn, shifting his face from the front of the sled to the back, so he could be face to face with Finn. “Aight, so here’s what I’m thinking;” Finn’s eyes flashed with the excitement of plans and the imminent fight. “We sneak up to his room by climbing up the wall like real sneaky boys. Then, when his back is turned, we give him a good ol’ chop on the back and steal his evil magic junk so Peebles can analyze it or whatever.” Finn gestured wildly, clearly jazzed about this opportunity to kick butt. Jake laughed mischevously. “Sneaky boys style! Heck yeah, man!” Finally, they slid up to the entrance of Ice King’s castle. 

“Sneaky boys!” Finn whispered, throwing himself at the wall and jabbing his sword into it, beginning to scale it with some effort. “Yeah man, I’m just gonna stretch up. Meet you there.” Jake whispered, forming part of his body into a rope and fastening at the very top of the mountain before stretching his whole body to wait by the window, dangling from the secured rope. Jake didn’t want to mention that he could’ve just lifted Finn up. It would kill his excitement. 

It took around five minutes for Finn to scale up and reach the window, but he stabbed his sword into the ice by the window vigorously, sweaty and panting but still wearing a great big smile. “S.. sneaky boys!” he croaked, grasping onto the sword with both hands. 

Peering inside the window, they saw Ice King. His puffy white beard was soaked, and covered in seaweed and other assorted oceanic plant life. 

“Woof, Gunther, you will not BELIEVE what I had to go through to get this bad boy.” He turned to face the penguin on his bed, and a large orb in his hands came into view. It was red, but it wasn’t. It was green and yellow, blue and purple, all at once.. except it wasn’t. Every time Finn tried to discern the color, it changed again. It was every color, and it was no color. It was every shape, and no shape. It was everything and nothing all within one glassy orb.  
“It was at the bottom of the ocean. I could feel it’s freaky power from all the way out here! No idea what it is though. Cool right? Maybe I’ll conquer something with it or something,” The Ice King shrugged, and then scratched at his butt. “Idunno. I’m just gonna go with the flow on this one, Guntie.” He extended his arm, looking into the orb with deep, covetous eyes.

With a target confirmed and an opening present, Finn pulled back on his sword before letting go, using it as a pole vault to launch himself into the room. His foot extended towards Ice King, preparing to perform a destiny butt-whooping.

“SNEAKY BOYS!!!” Finn made impact with Ice King’s back, a loud “PAP” echoing through the room as Ice King careened back to the wall and crumpled to the ground. “Gunther, help me!” Ice King whined, reaching out to him in a desperate gesture of love. Gunther honked apathetically from the other corner of the room. “Fine. No dessert for bad Gunts, though.” Ice King frowned.

Jake stretched into the room, tossing Finn’s sword back to him and assuming a battle stance. Finn snatched the sword out of the air with a metallic clang of his robot hand. “You’re done for, ya ol’ coot!”

“I ain’t done nothin’ wrong today! Not yet, at least!” Ice King protested, cocking his eyes at the duo.  
“Yeahh, but you MIGHT do something,” Jake spat, shifting his arm into a massive ball and chain. “And that’s just about as good. You got a spicy magic article, and you’re not gonna use it!”

Ice King’s eyes went thin for a second, before he shrugged again. “Alright, alright buckos. I can see when I’m beaten.” Finn lowered his sword slightly, confused. “Yeah guys,” Ice King stood up slowly, holding the orb above his head. “All you’ve gotta promise to do is- HYAH!” In the blink of an eye, he whipped his hands forward, launching the orb at the two. 

Before they could react, the orb was upon them- more specifically, upon Finn.  
It shattered on Finn’s face with a deafening crash, as it split into hundreds of pieces, with everything and nothing seeping into Finn’s body and soul. Searing, blinding pain was everywhere, and nowhere, and Finn was everything, and nothing.

Finn writhed on the floor around the shards of the orb, his form shifting over and over, skin bubbling and boiling, screaming in unyielding pain.  
“WHAT THE JANK DID YOU DO TO HIM, YOU BUNKHEAD?!” Jake shrieked, reaching out and grabbing Ice King in his fist. 

“I-I-I don’t know man, I thought it would just explode in a big kablooie! Magic junk almost always explodes into big kablooies!” Ice King shook, watching Finn’s form bubble and flame. His hat burned away, charred remains scattering across the room, while his pants and shirt remained somewhat intact, if singed. His screams echoed throughout the kingdom, pure pain in auditory form, 

Jake tightened his grip on Ice King before shifting his other hand into a bulldozer-like appendage and scooping up Finn’s body. He burst through the wall of Ice King’s palace, scrambling for the Candy Kingdom. Princess Bubblegum would know what to do. She’d have to.

Gunther, still in the ice palace, stared at the new hole in the wall for a moment before quacking unconcerned, and waddling off to get a pizza.

**Author's Note:**

> shoutout to https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spacehillbilly/pseuds/Spacehillbilly for their work https://archiveofourown.org/works/9218534 which i read after i wrote this first chapter and i hit a ton of the same gosh dang points! twins


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